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Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet are found dead on the floor in a bedroom.
When they were discovered, there were pieces of glass and some water on the floor.

The only furniture in the room is a shelf and a bed.
The house in is a remote location, away from everything except for the nearby railway track.

What caused the death of Romeo and Juliet?

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posted in 100 Top Riddles Jokes |

Box of tampons

A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register. The cashier asks, “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”

“Nope,” says the boy, “not for my mom.”

The cashier responds, “Well, then they must be for your sister then?”

“Nope,” says the boy, “not for my sister, neither.”

The cashier is now curious, “Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister – then who are they for?”

The nine-year-old says, “They’re for my little brother. They say on TV, if you wear one of these, you can swim and ride a bike, and my little brother can’t do either of those things.”

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posted in Kids Jokes |

Guessing game

Little Johnny’s teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game!
The teacher said, ”I have something behind my back. It’s red in color and round. It’s soft, but it’s hard.”
Johnny raised his hand and said, ”I know, it’s a red rubber ball.” The teacher said, ”No Johnny, it’s an apple, but I like the way that you think.”
The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. ”I have something behind my back. It’s orange in color and round. It’s soft, but it’s hard,” said Johnny’s teacher.
Johnny raised his hand again and said, ”Teacher teacher, I know, it’s an orange rubber ball.” The teacher looked at Johnny and said, ”No Johnny, it’s an orange, but I like the way that you think.”
Johnny was now getting the hang of it so he asked the teacher if he could try one.
Johnny grabbed an object and put it behind his back and said, ”I have something behind my back. It’s pink in color and it’s loooong. It’s soft, but it’s haaaard.”
The teacher, getting upset, yelled at Johnny, ”Now Johnny, I’m going to have to tell the principal about this perverted behavior.” Johnny stopped her and said, ”But, teacher, all I have is my pink eraser – but I like the way you think!”
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posted in Little Johnny Stories |

Birthday Suit

A wife was beginning to worry about her and her husbands non-existent physical relation life.

So one afternoon the woman decided to ask her friend for some advice on how to put the spark back into her marriage.
Her friend gave her some advice that always worked with her own husband.

She told the woman that every day before her husband was due back home from work, she puts on her birthday suit and waits at the top of the stairs for him to arrive.
when he does, he sees her and cannot resist her and they have wild passionate love.

The woman ran home and immediately, put on her birthday suit and waited at the top of the stairs for her husband.

Within time her husband arrived through the door, looked at her and said “what on earth are you doing?”
The wife replied “It’s my birthday suit, don’t you like it?”

The husband responded “you could have ironed it first”

(A birthday suit is what one is wearing when born — nothing :)  )
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posted in Adult Jokes, Birthday Jokes |

Three years old

A small girl turned 3 years and her mother threw a birthday party.

The birthday girl was supposed to blow the three candles from the cake.

She asked why there are three candles on the cake?

Her mother replied, ‘ Honey you are now three years.  So 3 candles’

The girl very innocently replied, ‘ But I have only 2 Ears ?’

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posted in Birthday Jokes, Cute Jokes, Kids Jokes |

Example of a tragedy

George W. Bush was visiting an elementary school, and the 4th grade class he sat through began a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy.” So, George W. asked the class for an example of a tragedy.
One boy stood up and said, “If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” said Bush, “that would be an accident.”
A girl raised her hand and said, “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” the President said. “That’s what we would call a Great Loss.”
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searched the room and asked, “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, way in the back of the room, Johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, “If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, THAT would be a tragedy.”
“That’s right! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?” asked the President.
“Well,” Johnny said, “because it wouldn’t be an accident and it sure as hell wouldn’t be a Great Loss…”
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posted in Funny Jokes, Little Johnny Stories, Political Jokes |