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Shoot Some Cans


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Shoot Some Cans

This man walks into a gun shop and asks to buy a gun. The gun
shop owner asks, “What for?” He says, “To shoot some cans.” So
he walks away with the gun.

He comes back the next day and asks for a bigger gun claiming he
still has more cans to shoot. He walks away with the bigger gun.

Again he comes back the next day demanding a bigger gun. Now the
gun shop owner is curious and asks, “What cans are you shooting
sir?” He replies, “AmeriCANS, JaimaCANS, AfriCANS…”

posted in African Jokes |

Two Missionaries

Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very
hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a
huge fire under it, and leave them there.

A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably.

The other missionary can’t believe it! He says, “What’s wrong with
you? We’re being boiled alive! They’re gonna eat us! What could
possibly be funny at a time like this?”

The other missionary says, “I just peed in the soup.”

posted in African Jokes |

The Devil

One day a Chinese, Japanese, and a Black man all went to hell.
The devil told them that if he could hold their di *ck for 3
seconds that they could go to heaven, if not they would be thrown
in the fiery pit.

So the Chinese guy walks up the devil says 1
and it goes up in flames. So the devil throws him in the fiery
pit. Next the Japanese guy walks up the devil goes 1…2 poof
it goes up in flames.
So the devil throws him in the fiery pit.

Then the black guy goes up. The devil counts 1..2..3 nothing
happens. the devil goes “let me count again” 1..2..3. the devil
goes why didn’t it go up in flames.
The black guy says chocolate melts in your mouth not in your hand

posted in African Jokes |


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Missionary in Africa

A missionary is sent into deepest darkest depths of Africa to
live with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching
them to read, write and good Christian values. One thing he
particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin. “Thou must not
commit adultery or fornication!”

One day the wife of one of the Tribe’s noblemen gives birth to a
white baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his
people to talk with the missionary.

“You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black
woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man
who has ever set foot in our village. Anyone can see what’s
going on here!”

The missionary replies, “No, no, my good man. You are mistaken.
What you have here is a natural occurrence – what is called an
albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep,
and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on
occasion.”

The chief pauses for a moment then says, “Tell you what, you
don’t say anything about the sheep, I won’t say anything about
the white baby.”

posted in African Jokes |

Durban man dies & goes to hell…

A Durban man dies and goes to hell… When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him.

The devil then says : “sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”
The man says, “No problem. I´m from Durban.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Durban man to see how he´s doing.

To the devil´s surprise, the man is doing just fine.
“No problem…just like Durban in November,” the man says.
So the devil goes back over to the thermostat, and turns the temperature up to 150, and the humidity up to 90.

He then goes back over to see how the Durban man is doing.
The man is sweating a little, but overall looks comfortable.
“No problem. Just like Durban in January,” the man says.

So now the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 200, and the humidity up to 100. When he goes back to see how them man is doing, the man is sweating profusely, and has taken his shirt off.
Otherwise, he seems OK.

He says, “No problem. Just like Durban in February.”
Now the devil is really perplexed. So he goes back to the thermostat, and turns the temperature down to MINUS 150 DEGREES.

Immediately, all the humidity in the air freezes up, and the whole place (meaning Hell) becomes a frigid, barren, frozen, deathly cold wasteland.
When he goes back now to see how the Durban man is doing, he is shocked to discover the man is jumping up and down, and cheering in obvious delight.

The devil immediately asks the man what´s going on.
To which the Durban man replies…..
“THE SHARKS MUST HAVE WON THE SUPER 12!!!”

posted in African Jokes, Hell Jokes |

Meraai

Meraai was walking down a residential street, when she noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his stoop.
She called out to him as she passed.

-* “Good afternoon! I couldn´t help but notice how happy you look. What´s your secret for a long happy life?”

-* “Ag Ja, I smoke five packs of cigarettes a day,” he replied.
-* “I also drink a case of whiskey and three cases of lion lager a week, eat nothing but lekker fast food, and never exercise.”
-* “Wow! No exercising” Meraai was amazed.

-* “Ja, the only exercise I do is watch and change channels on my TV.” Replied the man.
-* “That’s absolutely amazing. How old are you?” she asked.

-* “Twenty-six,” he replied.

posted in African Jokes |


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