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Chinese and Japanese

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese”.

“Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”

Shocked, Spielberg replies, “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”

The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”

posted in Chinese Jokes, Funny Jokes |

American And Chinese Conversation

This is a radio conversation of a Amaerican naval ship with Chinese authorities off the coast of Vietnam in South China Sea in October 1980.

CHINESE: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

CHINESE: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

CHINESE: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier USS MIDWAY, the second largest ship in the United States Pacific Fleet.

We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that’s one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

CHINESE: This is a lighthouse. You are on the course to collide with a Vietnamese fishing boat filled with hundreds refugees!

posted in American Jokes, Chinese Jokes |