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Shop selling husbands


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Shop selling husbands

There opened a shop selling husbands where a girl can choose a husband from list of men. The shop had six floors.

There was a rule that as one opens the door to any floor she may choose a man from that floor, but if she go up a floor, she cannot go back down but has to exit the shop.

So a girl goes to the shop to find a husband.

On the first floor, there was a label on the door saying:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The woman reads the label and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor label reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor label reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor label reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

“Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor label reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

“Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 8,342,738,214 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

posted in Funny Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes |

Set up a new password

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
The husband, “Put ‘MYPE@NIS’ ” and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error,
“Error. Not long enough.”

posted in Dirty Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes, Short Jokes |

Coming in and out of a coma

A woman’s husband had been coming in and out of a coma for many months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“What dear?” She asked gently.

“I think you bring me bad luck.”

posted in 100 Top Funny Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes |


The bride lay in bed on the first night

The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars.

“Come to bed, darling,” she whispered after some time had passed.

“Not likely,” replied the blonde groom, “my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and
I’m not going to miss a minute of it.”

posted in 100 Top Funny Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes, Marriage Jokes |

Holidaying in Las Vegas

An elderly Florida couple, Sam and Bessie, are holidaying in Las Vegas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, Sam buys them, and wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly.

He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Bessie looks him over, “Nope.”

Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?”

Bessie looks again, “Nope.”

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different now?” Bessie looks up and says, “Sam, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Sam yells, “And do you know why it’s hanging down, Bessie? It’s hanging down because it’s looking at my new boots!”

To which Bessie replies, “Should have bought a hat, Sam. Should have bought a hat.”

posted in 100 Top Funny Jokes, Adult Jokes, Couple Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Jokes, Holidays Jokes, Humor Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes, Naughty Jokes |

I am having an affair

A businessman was having an affair with his young secretary. Every Friday the two would leave work a few hours early and have s*x at the secretary’s house. When the executive returned home, he would tell his wife he had gone to a bar with his friends.

One night, the executive accidentally fell asleep at his secretary’s house. When he woke up, he rushed to get dressed and told his secretary to rub his shoes in the grass. Eager to help, the confused secretary took his shoes outside, rubbed them in the grass, and handed them off.

By the time he arrived home, the executive’s wife was waiting for him. She immediately asked him where he had been.

“I am not going to lie to you,” he said, “I am having an affair.”

His wife slowly looked him up and down, paused for a moment and said, “BS, you’ve been playing golf!”

posted in 100 Top Funny Jokes, Adult Jokes, Couple Jokes, Funny Jokes, Golf Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes |